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 "From Despair to Repair was a total game changer.

It literally saved our relationship."

— David K., Westchester, NY

From Despair to Repair®

A Wise and Warm Blueprint for Healing Conversations Between Partners


with Melanie Smith MACP LMFT

A course for committed couples who want to need to 

radically improve their communication skills.

This step-by-step communication blueprint will guide you and your partner through skillful reconnecting and healing conversations—all without spending thousands of dollars on therapy or leaving the comfort and privacy of your home. (Video is 3:40 long.)

Enroll Now
 

"Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning; without it, your relationship goes cold." —William Paisley

Do you recognize any of these

common communication breakdowns

in your relationship?

  • Ongoing angry episodes of fighting with no resolution (giving up or giving in)
  • Talking and talking and talking and never really getting the issue resolved
  • Quickly going to "Armageddon" and threatening the entire relationship
  • Unable or unwilling to really listen to your partner (often because you feel attacked or resentful)
  • Never making time for your relationship maintenance
  • Speaking without thinking about the impact of your words
  • Being more focused on your good intentions than on your partner's experience
  • Unable to overcome damaging experiences with your partner from the past (feeling stuck / unable to let it go)
  • Refusing or unable to apologize
  • Retreating into feeling like a self-sacrificing martyr
  • Trying to escape responsibility from unskillful behavior and words
  • Distract from addressing issues by changing the subject
  • Running away, or disappearing into own thoughts and becoming non-communicative
  • Minimizing, ridiculing, or ignoring the other person's concerns
  • Withdrawing and blocking the other person out — "the silent treatment”
  • Feeling like you never make time to just connect with each other
  • Dreading talking over issues because it always either
    a) goes nowhere;
    b) winds up in a fight; and/or
    c) makes things worse

You are not alone!

Over 90% of my couples tell me that communication skills are the number one reason their relationship is in crisis.

With a From Despair to Repair® course, you can learn communication skills to help you and your partner …

  • Find meaningful intimate connection with each other again
  • Talk skillfully and kindly with each other about difficult subjects without destructive conflict
  • Have deep and rewarding conversations about your most challenging issues
  • Learn to share your lives with more vulnerability … and intimacy
  • Resolve and move past issues that are crippling your relationship
  • Stop negative communication before it escalates into battle
  • Heal emotional injuries you have that you preventing you from going forward
  • Learn to truly listen to one another so you can each feel seen, heard, and understood
  • Become collaborative partners, instead of competitive ones
  • Explore, release, and heal the root causes of you and your partner's conflicts
  • Give your relationship new hope
  • Find lasting peace in yourself and with one another
  • Remember why you fell in love in the first place
  • Discover that working through your issues together can actually make your love stronger than it was before

Get this course today at 40% off (limited time only!)

See below for details

What is From Despair to Repair about?

Here's what you can expect from this course: 

First, I want to tell you that this course is intensive, and asks a lot of you and your partner. We don't mess around! If you want to, truly want to, repair your relationship, and you are both willing to put in the time to learn and practice the communication skills, then this course is for you. This course provides communication skills designed to last a lifetime.

Overall, in each module, we will be learning deeply about communication in intimate relationship, and as the course continues, with each module we will be learning a new, skillful conversation that helps you and your partner learn powerful new communication skills.

Each conversation in each module builds upon the last in complexity, and in intensity. This gradual building prepares you and your partner to have your most challenging conversations.

In the final module, you'll receive the exact, step-by-step blueprint for approaching the most challenging issues between you and your partner ~ with skill, fortitude, and grace. And you'll be prepared and ready!

Toward an expert relationship ...
The course is designed to help you and your partner learn to be expert relaters: to trust each other, to rediscover intimacy, to be skillful and kind when you speak about triggering issues. To help you solve your issues, and to learn and grow together.

You'll get a step-by-step blueprint that helps you start solving the most challenging issues between you. And every module contains lessons, Demo Videos, and practical Home Practice guides, each with step-by-step instructions.

These Practice guides are designed to help support you and your partner in deeply repairing your relationship, and setting yourselves up for true lifetime of loving partnership.

And a word about the Demo Videos ...
The Demo Videos provide real life, actual conversations that demonstrate the exact conversation skills you and your partner need in order to tackle the most challenging issues between you. 

They will bring the communication skills to life in a way that make the learning and growing comprehensible, approachable, and enjoyable.

 

 

Module summaries ...

Module A
We'll be kicking off the course with a deep dive into what relating is, why we do it, where we learned to relate, and what the point of relating is. We'll focus on the specific value of relating, and getting clear on why we spend so much of our life energy on it. 

Module B
Now we kick it into a higher gear. You'll see a Demo Video of the first From Despair to Repair conversation you and your partner will have. This conversation is designed to help you and your partner start to share your hearts, to talk about things that matter to you, and to start learning the skills you'll need for the much more challenging conversations to come.

Module C
Time to dial it up a notch with the conversation. You'll be building on the skills from Module B, but this time with the addition of more vulnerability, and more intensity. And of course, there is a real-life Demo Video showing you the communication skills, step-by-step.

Module D
In this last and final module from the Fundamentals Course, you'll get The Blueprint for having a healing conversation about the most challenging issues in your relationship. You'll see a Demo Video of the exact conversation designed to help you and your partner resolve your deepest, most intractable problems.

And if you've done your Home Practices, watched the lessons, and learned the skills, you should be ready to finally, once and for all, skillfully communicate about the issues that have prevented you and your partner from having the relationship you have both always wanted.

Bonus Modules
These modules are optional, but incredibly valuable to support you and your partner in your skillful communication practice. We'll talk about emotions and how they function, how to create a plan for relationship ruptures, how to take a break when most needed, and about unsolvable problems (they are a reality in relating).

We'll also talk about the incredibly valuable communication tool of appreciating each other, and of how to get into sync with each other (without needing any words!) 

 

We've got three

From Despair to Repair® course options for you ~ 

Here's the scoop!

The Fundamentals Course

$997.20

40% off for a limited time only! Get the communication skills you need to start improving your relationship today.(Regular price $1,662)

Use Coupon Code D2RFALL2020!

  • Six weeks to complete
  • Four Modules
  • Fifteen total lessons that include:
    • Eleven video home study lessons 
    • Over three hours of recorded lessons.
    • Four videos demonstrating real life conversations using the skills taught in the course.
    • 22+ Comprehensive home practice downloads with detailed instructions that break down the skills taught in a step-by-step way ~ so you can practice the communication skills at home.
    • PDF downloads of all lesson slides. 
  • Private Facebook Group for couples enrolled in From Despair to Repair.
  • A whole bunch of goodies and extras to keep you inspired, learning, and growing ~ together!
Instant access

The Complete Course

$1397.40

40% off for a limited time only! Our most popular, most value-packed program. (Regular $2,329)

 Use Coupon Code D2RFALL2020!

  • Ten weeks to complete
  • Includes the entire Fundamentals Course, with all lessons, demo videos, and home practice downloads ...

... PLUS ...

  • Four “mini" modules designed to deepen and enhance your ability to relate with awareness, kindness, and skill
  • Three video home study lessons
  • Four demonstration videos
  • Seven home practice worksheets and downloads
Instant access

The Complete Course with Private Coaching

$2018.40

40% off for a limited time only. Limited availability ~ first come first served. (Regular $3,364)

 

Use Coupon Code D2RFALL2020!
  • Includes everything in the Fundamentals and Complete Courses

... PLUS ...

  • Three 1-hour live coaching sessions over video
  • 15% off normal coaching rate
  • Get live coaching during your repair conversations.
  • Or, get the extra help you and your partner need to implement the skills taught on your own
  • Discuss concerns that are unique to your situation
  • Can be with each of you individually or as a couple
Instant access

Buy it and try it for seven days

We’ve done everything in our power to make From Despair to Repair the most effective relationship communication course available online.

We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we teach our private clients. Moreover, we use these exact same tools every day in our own relationships! 

However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with confidence.

That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 7 DAYS to complete the entire introductory module (Module A) of the course, including all the lessons and exercises in that module, and decide whether or not this course is a good fit for you.

If you decide to cancel during the first seven days, then please keep all the materials and downloads with our appreciation for your willingness to check it out, and our sincere best wishes.

More specifics about what's in each option...

Option 1:

The Fundamentals Course


Four modules, each with two to five lessons.

Every module and most lessons include home practice downloads


Module A: Foundations of Relating 

  • Orientation, Welcome, and Assessment
  • Waking Up About Relating
  • Defining Expert Relating: Holding ourselves to a higher standard
  • The Big Three Gifts Needed for Expert Relating (plus one)

Module B: Attunement One: Harmonizing With Your Partner (your first healing conversation with blueprint)

  • Intro to Attunement: The heart of healthy relationship repair
  • Progression of Structures in Challenging Communications
  • Demo Video of the exact skills taught

Module C: Attunement Two: Healing Conversation Sharing a Fear (your second healing conversation)

  • Attunement Two: Raising the Stakes: Attunement Two Prep
  • Demo Video of the exact skills taught

Module D: Attunement Three: Full Attunement-in-Action Conversation (your third healing conversation)

  • Why Attunement?
  • High Stakes Communication
  • Attunement Three Prep with Expert Messaging
  • TWO Demo Videos of the exact skills taught
Instant access

Option 2:

The Complete Course


Everything from Option 1 Fundamentals

... PLUS ...

Four additional mini modules ... 


Feelings, Simplified (lesson & downloads)

  • What our emotions are really telling us
  • Ideals (and their relationship to emotions

Expert Extras for Expert Relaters (downloads)

  • Relationship Rupture 911
  • Pause Competency
  • Understanding unsolvable problems

Expert Appreciation (downloads and demo videos)

  • Appreciation: A gift from you both, to you both
  • Appreciation Demo Video 1
  • Appreciation Demo Video 2

Gettin’ in Sync (downloads and demo videos)

A fun and sweet way to get physically synchronized with your partner

  • Gettin’ in Sync Demo Video 1
  • Gettin’ in Sync Demo Video 2
  • A Lifetime of Love - tips and tricks to help these skills last a lifetime. 
Instant access

Option 3:

The Deluxe Course

with Private Coaching

= only FIVE FOUR THREE of these are available =


Includes everything in the Fundamentals and Complete Courses

...PLUS ... 

Three one-hour private video coaching sessions with Melanie 


  • Discuss and understand the material better

  • Ask questions about applying the course material to your relationship
  • Prepare for having the specific conversations taught in the course

  • Get live coaching during your repair conversations.
  • Debrief after your healing conversations

  • Get the extra help you and your partner need to implement the skills taught on your own
  • Discuss concerns that are unique to your situation
  • Can be with each of you individually or as a couple
  • Sessions bundled with this course are offered at 15% off normal coaching rate
Instant access

Meet Your Coach...

Hi there, I'm Melanie Smith. I'm a master's level marriage and family therapist, and I specialize in couples.

I am serious about helping people relate better, and with this course, I'm trying to put myself out of a job! For me the best possible outcome is for couples to feel empowered to learn "expert" relating skills, and solve their issues on their own ~ without needing a third person (like a therapist) involved. And once they have these relationship skills, I want couples to have them forever.

For many years I have spent literally thousands of hours helping individuals and couples who have disconnection and communication problems in their relationships restore trust, respect, warmth, companionship, and hope. I have done my best to translate what I've seen work best into this course.

This course offers practical, grounded, real-world techniques so you can communicate effectively and reconnect with your partner in transformative new ways that last a lifetime.

(Click here if you want to know more of my bonafides!)

Actual real-life quotes from my clients about the

communication issues in relationship...

Does anything here sound familiar?

  • We need to communicate better. Broken trust issues have been going on for a long time. We are worth saving but are a bad couple.
  • We don't share our lives. I want to get to a point where we can communicate and are not shutting each other out.
  • We have difficulty with cooperative, peaceful communication around conflict where. I want to establish safe and respectful communication.
  • I want to work out how to communicate better, to better communicate our needs and problems. Learn more about myself.
  • I want to work on my communication skills and my ability to not sweat the small stuff.
  • I feel like we are completely disconnected with each other. We have no intimacy anymore. We need to fix our marriage or end it. We have felt in limbo for a long time.
  • My biggest fear is that there is no solution to our problems and we will continue our old patterns. My partner brings up topics that are frustrating her. I then get frustrated and may or may not resolve the problem. I am here to learn to work together even better. I want to make everyday tasks simpler.
  • We need help opening up lines of communication on almost all matters. It is a lot to throw away; I want to try. What we do impacts not just us, but our family and kids. We need help slowing down and doing the right thing.
  • Why is it so hard to communicate? We withdraw from each other. I ignored parts of it, didn't want to push. I am lonely in my relationship, due to a lack of communication.
  • Why doesn't he want to connect deeper with me?
  • Our conflict style is I give in and let things go, But really I just hold in all the anger and frustration.
  • My partner and I don’t see or hear each other. My goals are a relationship with less bickering, more ease around resolving small matters.
  • I want to find peaceful and satisfying ways to resolve conflict. I want to feel REALLY heard and seen, and my partner, too.
  • We have long drawn out arguments that end up somewhat resolved but I’m exhausted and in pain.
  • We will be trying to communicate, but we don't convey our thoughts clearly. Then confusion leads to anger.
  • We do not have a great way of communicating with each other. We have a texting relationship.
  • She does not fully trust me. I don't communicate openly enough. We want this to last.

You can improve your relationship by learning to communicate!

You just have to take the time to do it. (Is this the right time?)

When you and your partner know how to have a healing conversation, you can have ...

  • A solid toolkit for communicating with your partner
  • A deeper understanding of what healthy, effective relating is
  • A dynamic, fulfilling relationship and recaptured romance
  • Strengthening of your bond
  • Deeper awareness of yourselves
  • A feeling of being deeply heard and understood
  • Make a positive contribution to life and loved ones

If not now, when?

Testimonials and kind words from couples we've helped ...

 

I learned so much from you. Your honesty and guidance created safety and opportunity for me. At every session I knew you were there with me, caring, showing up authentically, and that made a huge difference. I feel so much gratitude to you and I’m so glad I found you.
— Name withheld,  Albuquerque, NM

Melanie. What can I say? You helped my relationship. A lot. And I am a very skeptical person. Our marriage improved after working with you.
— Names withheld, Albuquerque, NM


Here's my story about From Despair to Repair ... I’d been in a challenging/frustrating relationship for many years. We were committed to each other. But we argued all the time. I bristled because I felt that my partner never heard me and wasn’t addressing my needs. My partner told me she felt the exact same way.

Regardless of the topic, we’d argue, around and around, neither of us feeling heard, neither of us feeling appreciated. We spent a fortune on counseling. But nothing ever helped.

My partner and I tried everything before we the Despair to Repair course. When I took and learned that I actually never understand how to really listen to my partner. She was telling me all along, and yet, I was hopelessly stuck, focused on my own agenda. 

I could never get my own grievances out of the way long enough to really stop and listen to my partner.

Since completing the course, I have the tools for productive and satisfying communications. And surprise, once I began honestly and truly listening to my partner, and she began feeling heard, I began feeling that she was finally able to hear me too. 

The From Despair to Repair course was a total game changer. It literally saved our relationship.

— David K., Westchester, NY


Just want to take a minute and thank you for helping my partner and I to have some very difficult conversations. Stuff that needed said that we couldn't find a way to say. (And yay we are still together!)
— Name withheld, Albuquerque, NM


Our couples coaching was a huge success! It wasn’t easy (how could it be?), but it was time unbelievably well spent. The work helped us solve communication problems we have struggled with for years. We learned so much about each other and, maybe more importantly, about ourselves. Thank you again!
— Neil and Karen C., Albuquerque, NM

Exclusive 40% Discount

Available For A Limited Time Only

This is a unique offer, and I can’t let this go at this price for very long. But with the world in a state of seemingly endless crisis, I sincerely believe healthy communication skills are needed now more than ever.

So if you’re ready to make a change for the better in your relationship, all from the comfort of your own home and on your own time, then you can transform your relationship with From Despair to Repair.

Grab this course today before the 40% off discount expires!

Choose your course and enroll now!

 

Sample downloads from The Fundamentals Course and The Complete Course

Frequently asked questions about From Despair to Repair ...

READY TO TAKE YOUR
RELATIONSHIP FROM DESPAIR TO REPAIR ~

all from the comfort of your own home

and on your own time?

Click here to get The Repair to Despair course at a 40% discount

40% off for a limited time only!

Use Coupon code D2RFALL2020

In a Nutshell ...

From Despair to Repair is an advanced communication skills course, specifically designed to help motivated couples move from the pain and despair of chaotic, chronic arguing, shutdown, and disconnection to lasting relationship repair, with renewed reconnection, stability, and warmth by providing a step-by-step conversation blueprint for having organized, healthy, and healing conversations.

It's helped many relationships, including our own.

Maybe it can help yours, too?

Start Your Journey

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We know this course isn't a fit for everyone, and that's okay. We've still got lots of expert relating tips, free resources, special offers, and more expert relating courses coming. 

Since we don't like getting lots of email ourselves, we promise not to email you more once a week (if that). And when we do send something, we’ll do our best to make the content interesting and useful to you. Also, we do not sell or rent your information to anyone. And of course, you can unsubscribe at any time.